Which lubricant, and why it matters more than the toy

The lubricant is the cheapest item in the basket and the one most likely to cause a problem. It can dissolve a condom, permanently ruin a £139 silicone toy, or irritate mucous membrane badly enough to make the next few days uncomfortable. None of that is exotic — it's ordinary chemistry, and it's avoidable in about ninety seconds of reading.

If you only want the short answer: water-based, glycerin-free. It is compatible with everything we sell, every condom, and every body. The only thing it isn't is long-lasting.

Everything below is the longer answer.

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The compatibility table

Two cells in that table are the ones that cost money and cause accidents: silicone lube on a silicone toy, and oil-based lube with a condom.

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Water-based — the correct default

Water-based lubricant is compatible with every material we stock, every condom type, and every toy in our catalogue. If you buy one lubricant and never think about it again, buy this one.

• Aurora Companion Lubricant — £10
• Cobalt Care Lubricant — £12.95
• Endless Tide Long-Lasting Lubricant — £48

Its single weakness is that it absorbs and evaporates, so it needs reapplying. That is a feature as much as a flaw — reapplying is a natural pause, and it washes off skin and sheets with water. It also means water-based is the wrong choice in a bath or shower, where it simply disappears.

Thickness matters more than brand. A thin, runny water-based lubricant is fine for vaginal use and inadequate for anal, where the tissue produces nothing of its own. Look for a gel rather than a liquid, and expect to reapply anyway. Our single dedicated anal lubricant is formulated thicker for exactly this reason.

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Silicone-based — long-lasting, and the one that eats toys

Silicone lubricant doesn't absorb into skin and doesn't evaporate. One application lasts, it works underwater, and it stays slick where water-based has long since gone. For anal use without a silicone toy, and for anything in the shower, it is the better product.

• Crimson Habit Silicone Lubricant — £29.95

And then the rule: never on a silicone toy. Silicone lube and silicone toys are chemically similar enough that the lubricant slowly swells and softens the toy's surface. It starts as a slight tackiness. It does not stop, it cannot be washed off, and it cannot be reversed. Once the surface is tacky it is no longer smooth, and no longer smooth means it holds bacteria — you have converted a non-porous toy into a porous one.

Almost every silicone product we sell says avoid silicone-based lubricants on its care notes, including Serene Wand, Infinite Tide, Orchard Tempo, Midnight Bloom, Dune Grip and Infinite Hold. It is not boilerplate.

If you must use both: put a condom on the toy. That's the whole workaround, it costs pennies, and it also makes cleanup trivial.

Patch test: silicone formulations vary and a few toys tolerate it. Test on the flared base or the underside, leave it an hour, and see if the surface feels different. If in any doubt, don't.

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Hybrid — mostly a marketing category

Hybrids are water-based with a small percentage of silicone added for longevity. They feel silkier, last longer than pure water-based, and wash off more easily than pure silicone.

The problem is that "small percentage" is rarely on the label, and whether a hybrid is safe on your silicone toy depends entirely on that number. Treat hybrids as silicone-based unless the manufacturer explicitly states silicone-toy compatibility — which most don't, because they'd have to commit to a figure.

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Oil-based — narrow use, one hard rule

Oil destroys latex. Mineral oil, coconut oil, baby oil, massage oil, petroleum jelly, body lotion: all of them degrade latex condoms fast enough to cause failure within minutes. The same applies to polyisoprene condoms and to latex gloves and dams. If contraception or STI protection is part of the picture, oil is simply off the table.

Oil is also difficult to clear from the vagina, where it can disturb pH and contribute to irritation and bacterial vaginosis.

Where it is fine: external massage, and use with glass or metal toys where no condom is involved. That's about it. Our body care products cover the massage use without pretending to be lubricant.

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The two words on the label that actually matter

Osmolality

Osmolality measures how concentrated a solution is relative to your cells. A lubricant much more concentrated than the tissue it touches draws water out of that tissue — the cells shrink, the epithelial surface becomes fragile, and microscopic damage follows.

The World Health Organization recommends personal lubricants stay below 1,200 mOsm/kg. A significant number of mass-market lubricants come in several times higher than that, because glycerin and propylene glycol are cheap, effective humectants and they push osmolality up. Body fluid sits at roughly 280–300 mOsm/kg, so "iso-osmolar" products are the gentlest available.

You will not find this on most front-of-pack labels. It's worth asking a manufacturer, and worth noticing that the ones who publish it tend to be the ones with nothing to hide.

Glycerin

Glycerin is a sugar alcohol. It's included because it holds moisture and feels good, and for most people it's fine. For people prone to thrush, it can feed Candida and trigger a recurrence. If you get thrush more than occasionally, choose a glycerin-free water-based lubricant and see whether the pattern changes.

Other ingredients worth avoiding on sensitive tissue: parabens, chlorhexidine, nonoxynol-9 (a spermicide that damages mucosa and increases rather than decreases infection risk), and added fragrance or flavour for internal use. Flavoured lubricants are for oral use, externally — they are usually sugar-based, and sugar internally is the same thrush problem.

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Matching the lubricant to the job

Everyday vaginal use with a silicone toy → water-based, glycerin-free. Non-negotiable if you want the toy to last.

Anal → thick water-based if a silicone toy is involved; silicone-based if not. The rectum produces no lubrication whatsoever, so use several times more than you think and reapply rather than pushing through friction. See silicone anal toys and flared bases.

In the bath or shower → silicone-based, and no silicone toy. Water strips water-based lubricant instantly, which is why shower sex is drier than it looks in theory.

With condoms → water-based or silicone-based. Never oil. Never anything from the bathroom cabinet.

Sensitive skin, recurrent thrush, or menopause-related dryness → glycerin-free, paraben-free, low-osmolality water-based. If dryness is persistent rather than situational, that's worth raising with a GP — vaginal moisturisers work differently from lubricants and may be the better tool.

Massage that becomes something else → start with oil, switch products before anything internal or before a condom appears. Don't try to make one bottle do both.

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Storage and the unglamorous bits

Keep lubricant below 25°C and out of direct sunlight; heat separates emulsions and shortens shelf life. Check the expiry date — preservative systems degrade, and an expired lubricant is one that can no longer stop bacterial growth in its own bottle. Pumps are more hygienic than flip caps, and both beat sticking fingers into a tub.

And clean the toy afterwards, whatever you used. Our cleaning and storage guide covers water ratings — the difference between "waterproof", "splash resistant" and "wipe clean only" is the difference between a toy that survives a rinse and one that dies of a wet charging port.

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Keep reading: Materials and body safety · Cleaning and storage · Essentials that actually matter

General information, not medical advice. Persistent irritation, pain or unusual discharge should be discussed with a GP or sexual health clinic.