The essentials: lubricant, cleaning and storage

Lubricant is the cheapest thing in this shop and the one that changes the experience most. Water-based is the default and the only one that is safe with every material we stock — it will not degrade silicone, it washes out of fabric, and it is compatible with latex condoms. Its only weakness is that it dries, so plan to reapply rather than adding more friction. A little water on the fingertips revives most water-based formulas without opening the bottle again.

The alternatives are specialists. Silicone-based lubricant lasts far longer and works in water, which makes it useful in a shower or a bath, but it can slowly break down silicone toys, so keep it for skin, for glass, for metal, or use a condom as a barrier. Oil-based products, including anything with a plant oil in it, destroy latex condoms and are difficult to wash out of fabric. Flavoured lubricants are made for oral use and often contain sugars or sweeteners; keep them away from internal use if you are prone to thrush. Cooling, warming and long-lasting formulas are all worth trying on a small patch of skin first, because the ingredient that produces the sensation is also the one most likely to irritate.

For anal use, buy more than you think you need and buy it thicker. The area produces no lubrication of its own, so a dedicated anal lubricant with a heavier body stays where it is put. Avoid anything numbing: pain is the feedback that stops an injury, and switching it off removes the only warning you get.

Cleaning is dictated by what the toy is made of and how it is powered, both of which are on every product page. Non-porous materials — body-safe silicone, borosilicate glass, stainless steel, ABS — can be washed thoroughly with warm water and unperfumed soap and will genuinely come clean. Porous materials such as TPE and some mixed-material toys cannot be sterilised, so they need washing immediately after use, thorough drying, and a condom if they are ever shared.

Power source sets the limit on water. A manual toy with no electronics can usually be washed freely, and glass and steel can take boiling water if nothing is bonded or coated. Anything rechargeable has a charging contact or port, and that is the weak point: a submersible rating means the whole unit can go underwater, splashproof means it can be rinsed and wiped, and not waterproof means a damp cloth and nothing more. Charge only when the toy is completely dry, and never leave a rechargeable toy plugged in indefinitely.

Skip a few things entirely. Alcohol, bleach, antibacterial hand soap and dishwasher cycles all damage silicone finishes and dry out seals. Boiling a motorised toy destroys it. Perfumed soap leaves residue in exactly the place you least want residue. And a toy that has developed a sticky, tacky or oddly smelly surface is telling you the material is breaking down — retire it rather than washing it harder.

Storage is the step people skip, and it is why silicone toys arrive at the drawer covered in lint. Dry completely first, because trapped moisture is what causes odour. Store silicone pieces separately from each other, in individual bags or a divided box, since some silicone formulations react on contact and leave permanent marks. Keep glass in something padded, keep leather and fabric somewhere dry and unfolded, and keep batteries out of anything going into long storage. Cool, dark and dry beats a warm windowsill every time.

Two last practical notes. Check whether a toy came with its own storage bag or case before buying an accessory to replace it. And read the care line on the product page before the first use rather than after, because almost every avoidable failure in this category — a dead motor, a cloudy finish, a tacky surface — comes from cleaning a toy in a way its material could not survive.